L' Shana Tova

Monday, July 25, 2011

Bye, Bye Torchwood

I'm not saying that I won't watch Torchwood anymore but I won't be driving home from Friday night synagogue services at 70 mph to catch it. I don't care about the new characters, the old characters offer no new life, and the storyline drags. I have also ended my membership with Torchwood Forum. After several American members unnecessarily attacked my patriotism because I supported the views of many UK fans who felt the show was "too Americanized" references to how the US had to save the UK in WWII were thrown around. REALLY? I believe that you can criticize or love a program without believing you own the show or the show's productors/writers/directors owe you anything. However, other forum members felt the need to be nasty and make honest debate personal because I was harsh about the performance/presentation of professionals who should be used to reviews by now.

Now what? The second part of Doctor Who's season starts soon . . . .

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Torchwood and Chimps

Unlike my previous review, this week's Torchwood: Miracle Day was flawless. Although Jack is definitively not back (yet), Gwen is. This woman can save my universe anytime (as long as she is in leather, that is!). The verbal barbs, sexual innuendo, and dark humor were wonderful - Torchwood at its best. As for my criticisms of last week's episode, they would not have existed if they simply combined this and last week's episode together as a two hour premiere, as one explained the other (why did Jack look so bad? He was supposed to as his immune system is doing double time fighting off diseases, likely ones that his body knows nothing of from his days as a mortal. If you were in his shoes, you'd look bad too!).

I look forward to next week . . .

On a quick note: some folk from the Torchwood Forum I follow found my review last week objectionable and rude. I can't say I blame them nor that I care. Really! Russell Davies, Torchwood's creator, hardly gives a rats behind what I think and I doubt he will ever read what I wrote. Even if he did, in his business you'd better have thick skin or good drugs to survive and I would think he has one or the other by now. More importantly though, I don't see why others feel the need to defend him, as if the man couldn't defend himself? Even if the whole show collapsed, I'm sure it won't break him, in spirit nor finances, considering he already has several successful series under his belt. Trust me fans, my tiny column ain't hurting him (or the rest of the crew) as much as it is irritating you.
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I listened to this morning's broadcast of NPR's Weekend Edition and experienced a “driveway moment” with a story called, "'Project Nim' Traces Chimp's Human Life". This documentary is the sad story of the law of unintended stupidity where the kindly human scientist takes a chimp out of his home, has it raised amongst humans (the scientist’s graduate students), teaches it sign language in hopes of proving that chimps can learn to use language in the same way humans do, only to eventually doom the animal to live in a lonely life with other chimps he could not relate to. I use the words "unintended stupidity" quite deliberately, my dear readers. What was that scientist thinking? I remember as a kid watching shows like Wild Kingdom which featured the chimp documented in this story and other wild life (usually dolphins) for whom a gaggle of scientists were trying to human. I remember even then asking my father at the time, "Did the animals ask to be made human?" Later, as I watched the horrors accompanying the end of the Vietnam War, I wonder, "Why would the animals want to be human anyway?" If those animals could really "think like us" then likely they would agree with the words of the old blues standard, "The Monkey Speaks Its Mind":
The monkey speaks his mind

And three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they are said to be
Said one to other now listen, you two
"There's a certain rumour that just can't be true
That man descended from our noble race
Why, the very idea is a big disgrace, yea"
No monkey ever deserted his wife
Starved her baby and ruined her life

Yea, the monkey speaks his mind

And you've never known a mother monk
To leave her babies with others to bunk
And passed them on from one to another
'Til they scarcely knew which was their mother
Yea, the monkey speak his mind

And another thing you will never see

A monkey build a fence around a coconut tree
And let all the coconuts go to waste
Forbidding other monkeys to come and taste
Why, if I put a fence around this tree
Starvation would force you to steal from me

Yea, the monkey speaks his mind

Here's another thing a monkey won't do
Go out on a night and get all in a stew
Or use a gun or a club or a knife
And take another monkey's life
Yes, man descended, the worthless bum
But, brothers, from us he did not come

Yea, the monkey speaks his mind
Yea, now the monkey speaks his mind


By the way, the experiments ended with evidence that the chimp did not learn to communicate like humans. I would imagine this is true for all of these experiments - the creatures remained who they were - chimps, dolphins, etc - but now without the capacity to socialize (let alone survive) with their own kind. 'Cuz keep in mind folks, once the cameras are gone and the animal is too big and too wild to manage anymore, it's tossed back into the wild or some preserve like a some 45 year old former supermodel wondering for the rest of its days "what the fuck happened?"

I'm reminded of a d'var Torah, a commentary on this week's Torah portion Pinhas (Numbers 25:10 to 30:1). Rabbi Artson says, "People, animals, and scenery too often enter our worldview in terms of the function they can perform for us, rather than as 'others' with feelings and problems and dreams, as living creatures, or as magnificent natural treasures. Most of the time, we look but we really don't see." (see "The Bedside Torah: Wisdom, Visions, and Dreams" by Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, p. 272). Shame on those scientists for not treasuring that chimp for being a chimp and shame on us for thinking that somehow we are superior to a chimps.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

A Little of This & A Little of That

Brief Review of 1st New Torchwood on Starz
For those of you who have been living under a scifi rock for the last two years, last night Russell Davies of Doctor Who elk has brought his latest TV guilty pleasure, "Torchwood" to the U.S. Fans have been waiting, speculating, and living on every Twitter and rumor until last night. Although spots like "Ain't It Cool News" have already offered the critics thoughts and I'm sure that the Torchwood Forum was flooded with responses during and immediately after the show's ending credits, I wanted to sleep on things before typing my two cents.

It wasn't a pleasant, satisfying sleep.

First, John Barrowman, as everyone's favorite leading man Captain Jack Harkness, looks like a drunk make up artist from "Desparate Housewives" tried to apply botox to his face. He looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger after his wife beat his ass with a cast iron skillet for cheating and fathering a child with the maid. And the make up artist's crackhead cousin must have done Mekhi Phifer's, the actor playing Rex Matherson, face and painted on hair (by the way, someone should have told Davies that CIA officers are bogged down with so much paperwork that to arrange in a Calidiff minute an agent's flight, weapons, and foreign police cooperation would take an act of Congress, not a simply phone call to a cute blonde assistant). Rhys and Gwen (Kai Owen and Eve Myles) however were fabulous (and where did they get such a cute, jolly baby?!). I loved Gwen's "I Am Woman, watch me shoot a missile launcher" but us older career mothers were wondering how she let Rhys take the baby back to the old Hub spot without even one nappy!

There were more things blown up in that episode than one would find in Grand Theft Auto. And 50 minutes is too brief for us Americans who are used to our cable channels giving us a full hour for the enormous bill we pay each month. Also,the bad guys so far are too run of the mill(heinous pedophiles so 20th Century). Additionally, either my hearing is going bad, my room speakers need upgrading, or the sound mixing at Starz sucks - after spending the first 10 minutes of the show fiddling with the speaker system, pulling a chair closer to the TV, and cleaning my ears with Wax Away, I just plain gave up, deciding it was way the sound was mixed and not me. I don't have these problems while watching Spartacus.

In the end, I guess this first show was okay if you had never watched the series before. The story has potential and there were a handful of the witty lines British sci-fi is famous for. But "Torchwood: Miracle Day" has a long way to go. Blowing up a shit load of stuff is nice but I can get that in any American action movie or old episode of MacGyver. I expect a great deal more from my friends "from across the pond" and what I am expecting has nothing to do with CG or explosions. Lastly, Mr. Davies failed those fans out there who miss the old cast by only referencing them in passing (did you catch the name Jack used when he sneaked into the hospital's morgue?). I can imagine Davies maybe sick of those fans and some have been downright obnoxious at times. However, they have a legitimate love for Suzie, Owen, Tosh, and, of course, Ianto. And not actively courting their affections at the expense of possibly getting a new audience is short sighted, very risky, and destroys the continuity of the series.

I'll give it two more episodes . . .
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"Did you hear about the teacher who . . ."
Wow, did you hear the story about the Atlanta school system's principles and teacher falsifying the standardize test scores of their students. Teachers actually went on individual sheets and erased answers, entering the correct ones to raise kids scores. There was also a report indicating that on the whole, charter school do no better than public schools in teacher our kids. In all fairness, it also "found more nuanced evidence that the charters that work best are those serving lower-income students, especially in urban areas" (Christian Science Monitor-online addition, By Amanda Paulson, Staff writer / June 29, 2010). Wonder why that is? Could it be that the good but economically challenged parents make the decision to move their children to the best teaching environment they can since likely they cannot afford to move to the suburbs nor pay for private school?

It's a hot mess but just the latest and largest in a series of reports on how "No Child Left Behind" has done little more than show us what we already know about the nation's public school system. It leads everyone to throw up their hands and curse the educations gods, screaming, "What are we to do?"

There is a simple answer with a complex implementation process that a government can influence but not fix nore mandate - it starts with eliminiating the idea that it is anyone's responsibility to teach your child other than you. Schools, coaches, and others are only responsible for adding the technical aspects of learning that we parents don't have (sorry folks but my alegbra is rusty and I can't remember all the different parts of a sentence) not the take over when we drop them off at the front door. And this goes beyond simply training the child to sit down, shut up and do what the teacher tells them - parents should send their kids to preschool ready to learn (meaning at least knowing their ABCs, 123s, colors, and to recognize their name in writing). Parents should do homework with their children, read to them nightly at least until junior high school, take them to museums and other cultural activities, as well as talk with them about current events.

Ah, but that is my mistake now isn't it - using the word, "parents". Another interesting story I heard this week is the increase rate of single moms in their 20s, along with the good new that there is a drop in the pregnancy rate for teens (NewsTimes.com - JEFF KAROUB, Associated Press,
Updated 11:52 a.m., Wednesday, July 6, 2011). I'd say "yeah!" however I am not sure I should. Aren't you suppose to get smarter as you get older? Although I don't think shotgun weddings worked in the past, why can't folk just wait until they have a stable financial and emotional life before they entering into this difficult task? Are woman so desparate in their 20s to have a child (and fearful that they won't), that they feel they must have children now or loose whatever possibility exists for motherhood? What's going on here?

I watched my single father try to raise me and I caught glimpses on more than one occasion of his head in his hands like the snapshot of LBJ during the Vietnam War. I was a good kid, as kids go, but I was challenging as all children are. Childrearing ain't for pussies and is best when there are at least two sane people dedicated to it (it matters not their gender, as much as their dedicated time) and to one another. If we are going to have better schools, we have to have better parenting and two good parents to boot.

So, how about the government ending the fight against gay marriage, a red herring when our divorce rate amongst straight couples has remained relatively unchained for the last 40 years. Why doesn't the government speak to our responsibilies as grown ups - if you birth 'em, your raise 'em and you raise 'em together.
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And speaking of gay marriage . . . .
I have been caught by "The Real L Word", said to say. This show is so bad for my self-esteem it isn't funny. Not only are those grrls impossbily more stylish than I am, they are more stylish than I was when I was their age! And haven't we queer folk moved beyond just hanging in the latest trendy club? Doesn't anyone go to feminist rallies anymore? Not that I'm hating but these bitches are getting more pussy than all the dick and clit I've kissed in my life. Lastly, WHAT'S WITH THE EXCESSIVE DRINKING?" Aren't the rates of alcohol and drug addiction in the queer community high enough?

So, if anyone knows Whitney's private email address, let her know that I can help her forget that stupid bitch, Sara!
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Chad Kroeger's "Hero"

Jewish w/a British Accent - How Cool is That?

From Another Jewish Mother