Food for Jewish Thought

Just finished my Torah reading for this Sabbath. I was impressed by a dvar torah for this week's portion, Chukat (Numbers 19:1-22:1). Rabbi Yoel H. Kahn, the rabbi of Congregation Beth El in Berkeley, California, points to three reasons Jews observe or chose to observe amongst the 613 mitzvot (and you thought there were only 10!): 1) because doing so is what makes us Jewish, 2) because it ties us to a community and a context with other Jews, and 3) because it enhances our intimacy and connectedness with G-d. Additionally, he adds these lines to his commentary:
"I, like you I suspect, am not always consistent about what motivates my Jewish commitments; at different times, I can give varying explanations for my various practices. Further, rarely are these differing reasons exclusive; often, all three factors, to different degrees, are present for me. Yet I have also noticed that I can be quick to judge others when their motivations and reasons for fulfilling specific mitzvot strike me as inappropriate or wrong; although I may myself use a differently nuanced version of the same value in a different context." (D'var Torah: Chukat: Ta'amai Hamitzvot - Rationales for the Commandments
June 13, 2010. Union for Reform Judiasm-Weekly Torah Story)

I have had more than my fair share of what used to be called "busy bodies" trying to run my salvation. You'd think they'd too busy running theirs, my great-grandmother would ask. Yet, as I grow older, I catch myself doing the same. Who amongst us hasn't stepped atop of another just for a temporary boost to our self-esteem? It isn't that growing old has led me to this-old age has just made it more painful to watch.

Troublesome Parasha

This week's torah portion, B'haalot'cha, is troublesome to my feministic spirit. The Progressive commentaries try to make me feel better but the bottom line is that Miriam, my personal biblical hero, and her brother Aaron share in the act of challenging Moses both in his marriage to a "Cushite" woman (which may be a red herring for) and his leadership as the only one who hears G-d. Only Miriam is punished (given leprosy and cast out from the people for seven days) for this act and 70 elders are given the ability to hear G-d directly, some of whom seem to go quite mad. Aaron cowardly acts like "it wasn't me; she made me do it" while Moses whines the shortest pray known to Torah. Give me a break! Is G-d so insecure that G-d cannot handle even the weakest of challenges to leadership and is G-d so wimpy to answer the challenge by granting the demands? Miriam is not blameless in this either as she has to use prejudice to justify her challenge (she never mentioned problems with Moses' wife in the past, so why now?). Aaron too, the mouthpiece of Israel, proves himself to be childish, blaming his sister when they both get in trouble. Are we in the kingdom of G-d or on a school playground?
I suggest we are at both.

Leadership stories that bother not to be narcissistic treatises on "good to great" management tell the real story of how it is to move a people, corporation, or country forward. Everyone has the "real" or "right" solution but the leadership, even in those democratic settings where the leadership is elected by the lead. It appears we are never satisfied with our leadership, never content with their decisions. Yet, when given that role ourselves become mad and we too "begin to speak in tongues", as outlined in this Torah portion. "I would have done xyz" becomes our mantra but when we get to leadership, if we do, we become the besieged. When we tell the stories of great leaders, we leave out the petty bickering or when it is added, the leader gives some grand speech which magically dispels all disbelief and heals all wounds for then forth. Yeah right!

I've done this leadership thing now for sometime and let me let you in on dirty little secret - the minions complain all the 40 years they wandered the desert. I remember, because I used to be one of them.