All my non-Jewish readers can skip to the next rant while I have a moment with my Jewish brothers and sisters.
Listen folks. Do no ask someone you just met, just because your curiosity is killing you, if they converted to Judaism or how they became Jewish. Black Jews such as myself have truly had it with this inconsiderate behavior. How would you feel if I asked you about your family lineage? Don’t you think such questions are rather personal and better left until after you buy me a cup of coffee? Considering how much hand wringing we do whenever the census comes out (since our numbers are dwindling), does it really matter how it is that I got to this synagogue?
Ah no! Am I now just another angry Black woman? Sure, because I know that you don’t ask Whites who join your temples if they are converts. You just assume they are Jews and are happy they are paying dues to your place instead of to the snobby temple down the street. I know an interracial couple where people regularly complement the wife for “bringing her [Black] husband to the faith-for the sake of the children”, not knowing that both are converts. I’ve been accused of being my daughter’s governess or maid because, although she clearly looks like me, her complexion is lighter than mine and folks are certain a Black mother wouldn’t bring her child to Hebrew school. Once during the first or second year Sweetness was at our current temple, I tried to complete a permission slip for an activity and was told, “Ah no. Only the parents can sign this.” Argh!
I wear a big, fat, glassy Star of David necklace everyday to avoid these kinds of silly questions. I am not surprised when the Christians that surround me at work or the mall don’t get it but I expect members of this “chosen” club to do so. Jews come in all shape, sizes and colors. There is an exhibit at West Bloomfield’s Shalom Street that highlights synagogues across the world, from China through Brazil. Yes, the majority of Jews look White but it isn’t how we started and our continuing Diaspora as well as intermarriage rate guarantee we will not end up that way.
One more point to keep in mind, friends. It is much easier for me to be a Christian, particularly in a town like Detroit, which is frankly a northern transplant of a small, southern town. Where as when I lived in Chicago, people knew you more by your profession, in Detroit it is a matter of what Baptist, mega church you belong to. My daughter has gotten used to being the “Jewish kid in the class” and regularly reminding people that Passover is not the Jewish Easter (she has gotten a little more radical lately and is insisting that Jews have more of a right to “claim Jesus” than Christians because he died before Christianity started~I really gotta start monitoring her television viewing!). Trust me, it would be much easier, particularly as a Black person, to just hang a Christmas wreath and say “have a blessed day” at the end of every telephone conversation than having to explain to my boss every year why Jews have a different New Years Day than everybody else.
Yet, something comes over me when I walk into a synagogue. I like a faith that encourages you to argue with G-d (and we fight regularly, trust me). And when my daughter gets up on that Bimah next year and leads that congregation, the pride that will swell from deep within me will be nearly overwhelming (yes Rabbi, I am crying now). Silly, nosy questions deny and negate the validity of those feelings then relegate my connection to this community to an oddity at some circus show. If someone volunteers to join (or remain) in the Jewish world, a better response is to thank them. Thank them for willingly declaring themselves a part of what is one of the most threatened and maligned groups on the planet (have you heard of the rise of Anti-Semitism in Europe?).
Remember, it’s not about the color but the covenant.
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